Monday, August 23, 2010

Night on the Sun

I'm attempting to study orthopaedics from this mediocre textbook as my iPod shuffles and serendipitously begins playing Jeff Buckley's "Lover, you should have come over" and like I do for every Buckley song, I pause to stop contemplating Pott's spine and begin contemplating the lovely song.

The song begins characteristically with a sound that tugs me right back to the first time I'd heard it and wondered what exactly produced that sound for about thirty seconds before I realised how simple the answer was.

I close my eyes as if this wud help me listen better. The song starts off part-plaintive, part-despairing in Buckley's deliciously intimate voice and then, takes a fast turn for soulful longing before finally settling into aching passion and sensuousness.

And I realise how missing someone so much that their absence starts to physically hurt you can be a soul-searing sensation transmitted directly thru this breathtaking song.

I grab my iPod about ten seconds before the song ends and play it again. This time I actually listen to the lyrics.

"Maybe I'm too young
To keep good love from going wrong
Oh lover, you should've come over
'Cause it's not too late.
Well I feel too young to hold on
Too old to break free and run
Too deaf, dumb and blind to see the damage that I've done.
Sweet lover, you should've come over
Oh, love I'm waiting for you."

And I realised I'd missed an emotion in the rendition the first time around. Regret, sadness, guilt?

And then it ends with Buckley gently intoning "Oh no, it's not too late." And I smile. All will be well.

The song ends and I suddenly feel the absence of this music as a real tangible loss as the iPod shuffles onward to Remy Zero's Fair. The spell is broken.

I am reminded again of the tragic circumstances of Buckley's premature death. I take a moment to imagine what songs he cud have produced had he lived longer, knowing full well that thinking that way serves no purpose.

I shake my head as if that wud help me empty it of these thoughts and turn to the page I've been neglecting for these fourteen minutes.

Remy Zero are singing "It's cold as you fade into the sun." but I'm barely listening now.

I think of Buckley again only once before the song ends. Tonight, the sun shall see its light.


Soin said...

only ketan and you can dissect everything and anything and analyze it.doctors. damn

Tangled up in blue... said...

Haha! I was aiming for less dissection and more stream-of-consciousness..:D

Gaia said...

his voice is almost orgasmic. my favorite is hallelujah and last goodbye.

Tangled up in blue... said...

I agree. His voice is beautiful but also that intimate way he you know, he's singing right to you, know what I mean? That whole album, Grace, is wonderful!

T. said...

This is so typical you cookie! Forever hung up on brill dead guys! :-P

R said...

I've said this before but I really like the way you write :)I also have this thing for brilliant dead guys :P James Dean, anyone?
And all I've heard so far of Buckley is Hallelujah, but imma download this one asap :)

Tangled up in blue... said...

T., methinks its better to be fixated on brilliant dead guys than dumb live ones, wudnt you agree?

Riddhi, aww, thanks! *hugs* And my God, Dean was red hot! :D And I have the whole album these songs are me, it is awesome! :)

Nitisha said...

Haha, "its better to be fixated on brilliant dead guys than dumb live ones", I definitely agree!

Only yesterday I was burning a CD for a friend and the entire album Grace is on it. Jeff Buckley's rendition of Hallelujah is incomparable. :)
P.S. Have you listened to Lilac Wine?

Nitisha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tangled up in blue... said...

Nitisha, :D I have heard Lilac Wine, I've listened to the whole album like a gazillion times! I wholeheartedly agree with that facebook group that proclaims "Give us back Jeff Buckley! We'll send you the Jonas Brothers.." :D

And Buckley's is my fave version of Hallelujah and while I like Rufus Wainwright otherwise, I think his cover sounds more glum and whiny than he intended..Buckley gets it just right! Have you heard his cover of Dylan's "Just Like a Woman"? Check it out! I love it!

Antara said...

He has the most sincere voice I have heard in a long time. He almost compels you to feel like his lover. :)

Antara said...

He has the most sincere voice I have heard in a long time. He almost compels you to feel like his lover. :)

Tangled up in blue... said...

:) Yeah, thats about the most accurate description of his voice I've ever heard. I cud never quite put my finger on what that quality is sincerity. And I love how he sings so unpretentiously the same songs some others have sung with so much ostentation..

Ketan said...


How many coincidences can a blog post throw up!

I'd not been going through your blog for quite some time despite your updating it quite frequently, and my having some time at hand, and today for some reason you shall discover in a day or two, I returned to your blog, and the first sentence of the first comment contained my name! Then, there was the word 'serendipitously', and then further down I also found 'neglecting'! :D

Anyway, I could to an extent relate to the emotion you were trying to describe (though I've not heard this song yet) [MTNL - my broadband provider has been misbehaving, so much so that even simple browsing is a pain :( ].

I have not watched the videos of most of the songs I hear, that makes me attach some imagery with songs that I hold dear. Two songs that really touch me this way both happen to be from 'Devdas' - 'More piya' and 'Silsila yeh chaahat ka'. Many times I have felt like writing poetry on how it feels to listen to those songs, both come with a feeling of undulations. I want to capture that feeling in words. But the difference being, you were more affected by the lyrics, whereas I am more affected by the sound in these two songs. Someday hopefully, I would be able to do what I expressed the desire of here. :)

Take care.

Ketan said...

And yes, the way you were surmising what it would have been like had Jeff Buckley been alive longer, I think that about John Keats and Mukesh (the Indian singer). :)

Tangled up in blue... said...

Ketan, now that you point it out, that is quite a coincidence! And the idea of writing an ode to a feeling a song inspires sounds quite interesting, I hope you do get around to doing it.

And this "video" is actually just a song recording played to his photograph as the background which they did since its a video sharing site I guess. And the sound of the songs is quite as haunting as the lyrics which you'll find if MTNL does allow you to watch it! :D

And if I had to make a list of all the people I wished were still alive, trust me it'd be a long list. ;)

It was good to see you comment on this post..which I must say was yet another coincidence, no?